Minimizing Problems With Anger Management
There are a number of things you can do in structuring your life to prevent anger from becoming problematic.
1.) Make a personal commitment to calmness.
Calmness is freedom from agitation in the face of a
provoking situation-and calmness is a choice. It doesn’t
happen by accident, and may start with a statement like
this, “I promise to stay calm at work for one whole day.”
It takes practice, but the payoff is immense-calmness
promotes an internal sense of peace and tranquility-truly
a gift in our hectic lives!
2.) Anticipate and intercept your anger and frustration-and plan accordingly.
For example, let’s say Mondays are always hectic for you
and there’s nothing to be done to move things around to
change it. Get proactive! You might try beginning a
routine that includes getting to bed a half hour earlier
the night before. Monday morning you may try getting
up earlier to have a good breakfast and
spend some extra time with your family before you
head into the chaos. Remind yourself on the way to
work you can choose to stay calm throughout the day
no matter what. And if the prospect of staying late at
the office or store makes you crazy for fear of missing
your favorite Monday night television program, tape it
for later viewing!
3.) Realize you can say no to your anger.
We all receive numerous “invitations to anger” every
day-inconveniences, inconsiderate people, equipment
breakdowns, traffic jams-you name it! You don’t have to
get angry just because you could.
4.) Avoid useless or trivial conflicts
Pick your conflicts very carefully!
5.) Accept differences in others.
So many conflicts arise from the inability to accept and
respect differences in our family members, coworkers,
bosses, etc. It is easy to translate “you do things
differently than I do” to “you’re wrong.” Personal and
business relationships are enhanced with diversity~creativity
is increased, better solutions are arrived at
when problem solving, etc. Learn to view differences
with an appreciative spirit.
6.) Praise instead of punish.
We live in a society that is starved for praise and
recognition. We are interdependent beings who need
affirmation and positive regard from others to feel
whole. One way to feel less prone to anger and to
decrease the potential for conflict is to keep an eye out
for the positives and continually acknowledge them in
7.) Exercise self-care.
Good care and maintenance of your body is essential
for the prevention of anger. Feeling better physically
typically leads to a better spirit, which in turn serves as
a buffer against the many annoyances in daily life. Think
of the acronym HALT to begin focusing on this all-important
H – Hunger
A – Anxious
L – Lonely
T – Tired
The idea is that you are more likely to succumb to anger
when confronted with a situation when you are under
the influence of one of these factors, and extremely
likely when operating under more than one.
Hunger: While physical hunger can certainly fray one’s
spirits, this can refer to other types of hunger as well.
For example, you may be hungry for some attention,
affection, or affirmation. Remember to feed your body
physiologically, but also do things, which feed your soul
Anxiety: Anxiety and anger reinforce one another. Both
are part of the body’s natural “fight or flight” response
to perceived threats. Although anxiety can be low-key,
there can also be a buildup effect of being continually
confronted by situations, which trigger fear and concern.
The key antidote to anxiety is learning the technique of
relaxation. When learned well and practiced daily,
relaxation lowers stress and reduces the tendency to
“fight or flight” responses.
Loneliness: Loneliness may be an issue in the personal
realm or at work. Individuals may be experiencing
relationship difficulties in their families, or feeling estranged from their peers in the workplace. This may
make them more vulnerable to anger evoking
situations. Take steps to ensure you have an adequate
family or social support system-it’s one of the most
positive things you can do for the quality of your life,
and for your physical health!
Tiredness: Getting enough rest at today’s hectic pace is
most assuredly a challenge. But the low-grade fatigue
so characteristic of so many Americans can easily make
one much more susceptible to the many invitations to
anger extended every day. Getting proper rest coupled
with regular exercise is essential.
8.) Maintain proper balance.
Bear in mind that a healthy lifestyle involves a balanced
focus on being, belonging, and doing. Take time for selfdiscovery
(being), social relationships (belonging), and
work you enjoy (doing). Remember that any one arena
typically cannot fulfill all three needs and structure your
life accordingly. Maximum life satisfaction is achieved
when balance is struck among all three aspects. On the
other hand, frustration builds when these needs are not
honored, and the tendency to look for things going
wrong is increased, thus making one more susceptible
Resource Credits: Resource for Living
Until The Next Post_Let’s Prevent Anger_Ms. Flo
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